Also, if you are going to date someone with a mental illness (or any illness) make sure you have accepted that they might not get better for a very long time, if ever.
Do not enter the relationship thinking that you can fix them or that they will be fine in a few months. Never do that.
Movies really give us a false sense of what happens in these cases.
this is important
It’s also not your responsibility to try to *fix* that person.
also if you really do want to help them get better you will not do it by having deep cathartic soul-searching conversations and seeing immediate improvement
you will do it by driving them to appointments when they don’t know what the fuck day it is, picking up their prescriptions when they can’t get out of bed, helping them remember their meds, finding the last pair of clean pants for them while they’re panicking and crying, listening to the same self-destructive skipping-record speeches some asshole parent or teacher or doctor said to them which keep looping no matter how many times you say they’re NOT worthless or ugly or stupid or faking it, and a whole lot of other stuff that takes up your time and energy and is not glamorous or exciting, stuff that is in fact boring and tiring and embarrassing and sad.
my spouse is willing to do all these things for me, and sometimes i have no idea what he ever got out of it but my gratitude and love, but he’s the reason i’m alive and so much better than i was.
Same for Steff